Swiss chard just isn't worth it

I don't know about you, but falling in the garden is creepy. Let's not even go there. I won't get into the whole slowing down of time, the reaching out, that moment before you hit when everything stops and you think, wow, I'm falling, I'm falling and my arm is way over there, and there's something letting go in my foot, my leg, and my mouth is open, it really shouldn't be open on impact, pull that tongue back at least, pull it back, and that sound, that sound, stop making that sound...but I won't get into that. Let's just say instant ants and be done with it.